in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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