I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
