you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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