dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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