My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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