Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
