Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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