well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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