Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
