all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
