I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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