I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
