bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
