i barfeds in our rink
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
