she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
