So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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