I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
