The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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