I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
