is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
