4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Help. Why am I so naked?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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