you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
