1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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