Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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