So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
