I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
