It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
