Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
