Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
