Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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