I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't deserve a penis
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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