he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
