she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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