Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
