i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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