He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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