I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
