it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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