i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
