I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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