apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
