just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We left the knife in your bed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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