Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
