If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
