Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
