Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
