I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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