everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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