have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
