Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
