i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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