you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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