ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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