Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
