life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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